I have, on occasion, heard parents saying about their children “of course I love my kids, but there are times when I really don’t like them very much”. Or even a husband or wife speaking about their spouse: “I love my husband but I’m not sure I like him a lot at the moment”.

And I wonder whether we can have similar feelings about how God regards us. Of course, we know that He loves us. The Bible, again and again, tells us how much he loves us. But isn’t that because he has no choice? It’s in his nature to love. Love is who God is. Loving us is part of his job description so He has to do it. But does He really like me?

Our Strong Desire to be Liked

That’s quite a different thing. We may see love as being the stronger word, the deeper emotion. But there is something very intimate and special about being liked. It’s maybe more about the moment, about feelings rather than actions – the Bible speaks more about love in terms of actions than emotion.

Being liked by someone means we make them smile. They look forward to seeing us, to having that next conversation, sharing what’s going on in our lives. Being liked is about brightening their day, their being delighted that we’re part of their life.

Why might we feel that we’re not particularly likeable to God?

It may come from low self-esteem. A sense of self that sees ourselves as basically worthless, not worth knowing, let alone valuing. The idea of our brightening someone’s day is ludicrous, we’re far more likely to drag them down.

Or it might stem from an overwhelming awareness of our own failures, mistakes and wrong choices – allied to a faulty understanding of God’s grace. Yes, I’m forgiven, but of course it’s a grudging forgiveness. God is willing to tolerate me, but only by looking past me, and seeing Jesus in my place.

Maybe we have come from a family background where it was obvious that we weren’t liked by our parents or other family members. And so that sense of being ‘unlikeable’ has simply stayed with us. Or perhaps we have always found it difficult to make friends and experience that kind of relationship.

Do My Feelings About It Matter?

Whatever the cause, does it really matter? Does it matter whether I feel God likes me?

Yes, absolutely it does.

In John 15:15, Jesus says: “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends”.

In the preceding verses, Jesus speaks about how he is laying down his life for his friends. We are called into friendship with Jesus, it’s one of the most beautiful privileges we enjoy in our relationship with him. To quote Andy McCullough, “God is populating heaven with His friends.’ (Made Flesh, Malcolm Down Publishing, 2024).

God’s desire is for us to enjoy friendship with Him – but it’s impossible to genuinely enjoy friendship with someone who you don’t feel really likes you! How can you really be friends with someone if you think they are just putting up with you, tolerating you grudgingly?

What Do the Scriptures Say?

So, does God like me? What does the Bible have to say about the matter?

The Bible speaks repeatedly into this and in the most persuasive way possible.

Romans 8:8 says that those under the control of their sinful nature can never please God, but verse 9 tells us that we who have the Holy Spirit are no longer controlled by that nature and by implication, we now can and do please God. He is genuinely pleased in us, and delights in who we are becoming through the work of the Spirit.

Other verses of scripture speak to the same thing. Psalm 35:27 tells us that He delights in our welfare. Jeremiah 32:41 speaks of His rejoicing in doing us good. Isaiah 62:4 says that ‘the Lord delights in you.’

Look at how Jesus related with His disciples – they were obviously friends, they enjoyed being with Him, and he with them. As well as travelling, ministering and working together, they had fun together.

Maybe most poetically and beautifully, Zephaniah 3:17 says:

The Lord your God is with you,
 the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
 in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
 but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Bathing or ‘marinating’ in these and other similar scriptures can only help to change our understanding of how our Heavenly Father truly sees us.

Enjoying the Presence of God

I would also have a couple of other suggestions to help us enjoy this friendship.

Why not spend time simply sitting in silence, enjoying the presence of Jesus. No agenda, no requirements, just being. Simply looking at Jesus looking at you. How might that feel?

And then also, let the Holy Spirit do His work in you. Romans 5:5 tells us that the Holy Spirit pours God’s love into our hearts. And so, praying that truth into being, into our lived-out experience that will change our very understanding of who we are to God.